Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Being a Spy is Dangerous Work

Thanks to everyone who so graciously contributed to the "Men's Butts" category of my #GBodyParts project.

In order of appearance, the butts featured in this post belong to: "Joe" @Bobson5260; "Steve"; Anonymous; Anonymous; "Adrian" @DaynersSweetpea; "Axle" @NakedAxle.  Give them a follow on Twitter or a shout-out letting them know you appreciate their contributions!
So without further ado, let me introduce you to the brave secret agents of special forces group 69.

To a man, each agent knew when they signed up for the elite company known simply as "sfg69" that they would face danger during every single covert operation they were asked to perform.

But being courageous brave patriots, time and again each risked life and limb for the greater causes of liberty, freedom, and the right for every pervert alive to enjoy pornography.  The world owes them a debt of gratitude for sure.  And that bill just keeps growing and growing, getting stiffer... um, I mean larger each day that passes.

Their last assignment was no different.  The men covertly infiltrated a Hooter's restaurant on secret assignment.  Of course I cannot divulge the exact details of their mission... or else I'd have to fuck you.  But I can tell you it had to do with whether or not certain female restaurant personnel were using tissues in order to exaggerate the dimensions of some of their physical features.

This looked like an obvious ploy to hide their true identities (thus suspicious).  After all, how many men actually look at a girl's face?

Anyway.  That's not important.  The results were the men sacrificed themselves and to a one seduced the suspects with charm and alcohol in order to "get to the bottom" of the issue.  Some went above and beyond and got to the "true bottom," possibly checking to see if the ladies had also changed their displayed hair color in pursuit of further anonymity.  That's what I like about these guys.  Always exceeding expectations.

Anyway, after the assignment I met with them for the standard debriefing. Only this time, it wouldn't be quite so standard and it would require a literal "debriefing" on their part.

I am their leader; they only know me as "Agent G."  I broke the bad news.
"Guys, it kills me to tell you this....  Well not literally, mind you.  It may literally KILL YOU, but I'm just really, really heartbroken... I think that counts as almost the same thing...."

They looked at me curiously.  Either that or no one had actually heard me because they were distracted checking out my ass.  I continued.

"It seems your cover was blown during the Hooter's assignment.  We received a tip that someone may have poisoned the Hot Wings that you all ingested in attempt at infecting you with a very serious and potentially deadly biological weapon.  The first symptom, if you indeed were infected, would be swelling and tenderness in your ass."

Half of my crew nodded the other half still looked on curiously.  "That would be arse for you British agents"

Now they all got it.

One of them spoke up, "Well Agent G, I have to admit that I had the shits the morning after and a burning sensation."

A few others nodded in agreement.

"I see.  Yes that is quite serious.  OK, I will meet with you one-on-one privately and examine you myself for signs of infection.  I will need you each to strip naked."

They gasped.

"Let me finish... just your bottoms, you can leave on your shirts."

Sighs of relief came forth of being able to preserve their modesty.

"Really there's nothing else for me to say.  Time is of the essence so let's get this underway.  Agent Joe, I'll check you first.  Join me in my office when you are ready."

I turned and left them walking the short distance to my office.  Entering I was shocked to see Agent Joe standing inside already stripped from the waist down.


"I know, it's impressive isn't it?  Mrs. Agent Joe likes it too."

"I was referring to the speed at which you came... into my office."

"Oh," he said with a frown.  "Mrs. Agent Joe is not quite so impressed with the speed I cum into her orifice."

I tried my best not to laugh, failing miserably.  "Alright then let's get down to business.  I will be touching you now, but remember this is all strictly professional.  And as always consider this examination to be classified, which means you can't tell anyone about it or the results we may find."

"Not even Mrs. Agent Joe?"

"ESPECIALLY Mrs Agent Joe.  OK, let's start."

I grabbed the agents tight firm ass with my small, but strong hand.  He flinched a bit.  Squeezing his butt cheeks I checked for any anomalies.

"How does that feel?" I asked.

"Um... good?"  Seeking whether that was the right answer he looked at me.

"But is there any swelling?" I prompted him.

"There is on this side," he pointed down to his deadly weapon which was now pointing straight out looking like it wanted to fire onto someone.

"Ah, yes.  That's a sure sign that you're in danger.  The infection looks for the path of least resistance.  As I squeezed your behind it was displaced and now has migrated to your front, swelling your manhood into a potentially dangerous state.

It's worse than we thought Agent Joe.  I'm going to need to extract a sample for lab analysis."

"Whatever you say Agent G."

"If I suspect right, I should be able to just squeeze a little of the white puss of the infection out...."  Moving to my desk I retrieved the 'sample cups' from its top drawer.  Going back to Agent Joe, I went around to his front and grasped his swollen infected organ.  Puss didn't immediately come out, so I needed to squeeze and massage it a bit.  Before too long though he responded.

"Oh it feels like it's going to burst!"

"Good, then I get the necessary sample."  Holding the cup in front of his cock I continued to squeeze and massage and finally the deadly puss came forth in several violent ejections.  Some of it got on my hand.

Agent Joe looked horrified, "It's on you Agent G!  Isn't that dangerous?"

"Nah, this infection only affects men... I'm safe."

He looked relieved and when he was turned away I quickly licked up the "puss" that had splashed onto me.  It was yummy.  Um, yummy in a purely professional way that is....

"OK, Agent Joe, we just now need to wait for the lab results.  Please get dressed and send in the next agent please."

One-by-one each agent entered my office and submitted to me kneading their butt cheeks and then coaxing forth a sample of their seed.  Where it was possible to be discreet, I continued to commandeer a little of each sample for my own personal taste test.

Most tasted like chicken...  well... salty chicken at least.

After all six had generated their samples I dismissed them for the day and immediately shipped off their sperm to headquarters.

Of course the real mission was to get their valuable genetic material.  The agency needed more brave skilled heroes like these and the best way they'd surmised to do it was through sperm donation.

As always, and for the agents' own welfare, they couldn't be told the actual nature of that assignment.  No it was better off to use the cover story about a possible infectious agent.  In a few days I'd report to them that the lab results came back clean and all would be forgotten.

Yes, that was the nice thing about working with these men.  They had been hand-selected for their bravery, loyalty, and yes also because they were a little bit dense. Perfect soldiers in our "sfg69" organization.

Now I just needed to figure out how I could acquire similar samples for my own needs in the future.  I quite like the taste of salty chicken.

1 comment:

  1. I read this story at work and it was hard to keep from drawing attention to myself laughing.

    I never know when I read your blog whether to expect something that is sexy, dramatic, dirty, soul-bearing, or now even funny. Usually it is a mixture and I always enjoy it.

    Please keep writing. This blog has become one of the first things I check every morning. I have sent you some other comments in your email.